Once upon a time, therapy didn’t exist. Everyone knew what their roles in society were, and performed them. Survival was the most important agenda item on everyone’s to do list. You hunted, you gathered. Nuff said.
Then along came the 21st century. You no longer have to follow in mom’s and dad’s footsteps. All the traditional roles have gone out the window. The good news is that you are free. The bad news is that you are free. You get to figure out how to do your life in a way that fits you. AND, you have a lot of leftover
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Those of us who care deeply about the planet and each other can be catapulted into sadness merely by reading the news, watching television, or listening to the radio.
We can become paralyzed by ruminating over injustices and stupidities, becoming angry or depressed.
And yet, when we focus on positive things people are up to, we can be filled with hope and energy.
It is not Pollyana to focus on the positive. The dean of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, has done research on how writing in a gratitude journal daily can assist us in shifting our perspective. I have written of this elsewhere,
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Yeah, that’s what they say. “You have to love yourself before you can love another.”
Yes, self-love is important.
And yet, we learn that originally from others. We learn how to love ourselves from the mirroring that we get from loving parents.
We see ourselves reflected in their eyes. Ideally, this is an unconditional love, so that we can be on our own side, no matter how we produce, what honors we achieve, what goals we reach.
But frequently, our parents don’t know how to do this themselves.
They criticize us because they love us, they want us to be safe.
Or they criticize us because
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